I’m really tired of seeing those “Proud to not be a teen parent!” or “When I was your age I was raising pokemon, not babies” or “Like if you were born in the 90’s and still don’t have a child!”

Like I understand freedom of speech and all that, it’s wonderful.

But are you posting this to make yourself feel better about not being a teen parent or are you posting it to make us feel worse?

I feel like we’ve gone through enough hell, thanks.

As the years have passed and my medical conditions have been taken care of, I’ve come to realize how close my family is compared to most.

We are strong and big and I’m confident that nothing can break us now. We’ve been through so much but we’ve never grown apart…actually we’ve grown much closer over the years.

It will soon be my time to go out into the world, get a home and job, and possibly move away…

And the biggest decision of my life will be: to move away from my family or to stay here.

I am a senior in college and will graduate soon. This seems so unreal. I feel that I’ve spent the last several years in constant angst! Claiming that I would run away from this town and never return for all the hate that it has given me. But, my family is here… how could I leave them?

I am closest to age with my brother Jeff. We are also the closest mentally. We have always been there for each other even though our other siblings were out in the world, doing their own thing. We are both addicts fighting through our deepest darkest secrets to sobriety, together. Jeff and I are also the most playful and love to pull pranks on each other…. but this year has been the hardest for both of us. Jeff is now 45 days sober, after receiving a DUI and possibly facing jail-time (and what he feels is ruining his life)   I am a mother now, and made my final decision of my major and to never again go back to Zach because I am happier without him. And although both of our struggles are very different we can pick each other up everyday little by little…. We go bowling. that’s our thing. it’s just easier to focus on improving our skills than to focus on our situations that we cant do anything about now.

My parents are extremely overbearing and always have will. I will never forgive them for driving Zach out of mine and Kaeden’s life. Especially, my father. I will also never forgive my mother for not supporting me when I was struggling with my sexual orientation. but through all of this I realize that it’s okay for us to make mistakes, even big ones. My mother and I have a very unique relationship now that I am much more comfortable with one that we both may never understand but it’s okay…and my father and I…well, we get shit done… and then we blow it up. We will never be good at communicating, but we make a damn fine shooting team and make great music together.

As far as my three other brothers and my sister Jess, I will never have enough words or patience to put up with all of the jokes, pranks, and taunting… but I will always have more room in my heart for the next generation. We’re breeding like rabbits and there are now 18 of us…but we still manage to all fit in a family photo…kinda.

So no matter how sick I am, or how bad I feel or how much I may have to lie to everyone else to say “I’m okay”

I will always have them, my family. They will always be there to get drunk with, go shooting with, playing pranks, and always laughing. That is something I will never regret and always be thankful for.

And if another door doesn’t open, break the fucking walls down.

(Source: kaaesmaniotto, via elvishprincess)

So I was complaining to Ben about something my friend said to me this weekend. I said that I really don’t understand why I couldnt find anyone to date. And before I could tell him that I met someone, he said “well, isn’t it obvious?” and I said no.. He continued on.. Saying I was ” one of the most beautiful and intelligent women that he knows but now that I have a child, no one in my age range will want to be with me.”

You could understand my insecurities before this was ever said to me… Daric has been very close to me for years and this simple statement tore me in half and left me extremely broken.
After telling Ben all this he flipped out over the phone. Yelling and screaming about how stupid that was and no one looks at women for their domestic talents ( we were taking about how I felt useless as a female counterpart because I couldnt cook or clean or have anymore children ) he went on to say that I have qualities that are disappointingly hard to find anymore. I’m caring and always put others before myself and that I work hard even through the adversities I may face. He said that a real man that’s worth my time won’t care that I had a child, that he, wouldnt care because I’m an amazing person.

I guess that all this time, I’ve really just been lookin for someone to say that to me, reassure me that I’m not useless anymore and that I will find someone.

I feel so much lighter and really good about my situation now.
Thanks Ben, for empathizing with my situation with a convincing passion.

mom: SO I am leaving work now…. and you’re done with finals… So i’ll drive and you can go drink.
Me: Are you encouraging me to drink before noon?
Mom: Well… it will be after noon by the time we get there…so an afternoon delight!
me: I love you so much mom.
Mom: So if you want to drink we have to go somewhere with a bar, where are we going?

omfg I have the best mom in the world